Reviews with a humorous touch

I know most of the authors that visit my blog get a bit focused on reviews for their books. Having customer feedback is important. Yet books aren’t the only thing that get reviewed. All kinds of products, particularly on Amazon, get tons of reviews to help with their sales. So, while I typically focus on books, I occasionally put my opinions out there  on other things as well. It is all good practice for writing. Lately, I’ve been trying to improve my skills in writing humor. Reviews are a great place to work on this as you get a wide audience. Never fear, though, I don’t usually practice on other people’s books (there was one exception but that novel had it coming- vampires should never be eating organic food).

Anyway, I’ve recently posted a couple of reviews for other types of things and thought I would share one of them with you. While everything said in this review is absolutely true, and I really did buy the product, it was intentionally done with a humorous slant. Do keep in mind that even Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon, has written a funny review.  The one I wrote could very well increase the product sales, so it isn’t even harmful really.  Here it is:

4.0 out of 5 stars A great way to scare your spouse!,September 22, 2011
Durability:4.0 out of 5 stars Fun:5.0 out of 5 stars Educational:2.0 out of 5 stars 
Amazon Verified Purchase(What’s this?)

I ordered the talking TP roller with grand plans in mind. It seemed like the perfect device to torture my husband with in my quest to always keep him on his toes. He has gotten used to the Cat-o-nine tails I purchased back in the spring, so I needed to go with a new tactic. A toilet paper roller that could have sounds recorded into it seemed like the perfect way to go.

It arrived last night and I immediately set to work. There is a website listed on the package where you can find some good phrases/sounds to record. It included quotes from famous movies, a woman screaming, psycho music, and a lot other good material. It all had potential. Unfortunately, none of it recorded well on the TP roller. I did discover my own voice came through clear, though. That left me with deciding what to say for my big scare.

After having an earlier discussion with friends, I remembered the time my husband found a brown recluse sitting in the toilet bowl (it was alive until we flushed it). Not a place you want to discover a poisonous spider since that is where you put your most sensitive parts. For months we checked the toilet before sitting down, but my hubby has long since grown lax in remembering. That meant it would be kind of me to remind him when he went to grab some TP after doing his business. The roller would do the work, so I wouldn’t have to be present. It is a smelly affair after all. So I made my recording into the device with my most monotone voice “Did you check the toilet for spiders?” and then set it up in the bathroom after verifying it sounded right.

Unfortunately, my husband didn’t have to go until much later that night, after I had already gone to bed. That meant I missed the moment of discovery. Not to worry, though, he related his terrifying experience the next day. Not a happy person, though he did give me credit for my ingenuity. Apparently, he accidentally hit the roller mid-way through doing his duties. Hearing my voice talking of spiders gave him a good startle. He knew I was in bed and honestly believed it must have been a ghost talking to him. It nearly caused him to urinate on the floor since he jumped so high. The sound of my droll voice coming to him from seemingly nowhere had him convinced the bathroom must be haunted. Yet there was nothing to be seen of this suspect ghost. He did figure it out after a little while, but it was quite the shocking experience.

I plan to pull similar stunts on other family members in the near future. No one will be safe from this amazing device! It did the job it was supposed to do. Well worth the cost and it can be used again and again. For those who plan to purchase it, do remember to have two AAA batteries ready for its arrival. Otherwise it will delay your nefarious plans. Also, I’m not sure if it has been redesigned since the previous reviews were done, but it is adjustable and could fit just about any toilet paper holder that I’ve seen. I had no problem setting it up. There is also an on/off switch so you have the option of continuing to use it for more practical purposes after your scheme is over. It can always be turned on again once you are ready for the next round of fun. No one will even see it coming since they will get so used to it being there!


For those of you who would like to see a picture of the product in question, and the scene of the crime, here you go:

Ignore the head of my cat there in the left picture.  She was trying to figure out why I was taking photos of the TP roller.

Anyway, I hope this provided you all with some entertainment.  Reviews can be fun to write when you plan for just the right one and great for building your skills.  Have any of you ever been tempted to write a funny review or actually done one?  Feel free to share.


~ by Suzie on October 10, 2011.

10 Responses to “Reviews with a humorous touch”

  1. OMG, Susan! I don’t often burst out laughing when I’m reading, but I did this time! Your review is hilarious (so was the image of your husband reacting to this disembodied voice …)!
    Thanks for sharing.

  2. In one of my reviews, I made the remark, “I read this book with one eye closed and blushing like I’d been caught watching porn.”
    Well, as much as I thought that I was being funny, it was not well received. A woman left a comment that, I must not have read many romances, since I thought that book was racy” Let me add, that I write reviews under a pen name and I thought her comment extra hilarious, since I write romance and all.

    • Good grief. Some people just can’t take a joke. So far, no one has left any nasty comments on my funny reviews. The one I did for that vampire book got a couple neg votes because some fans probably didn’t like what I had to say about their favorite novel, but all the comments left on it were thanking me for giving them a laugh. I’ll post that review next so you all can see what I mean. The author wasn’t hurt by what I had to say anyway. She has over one hundred- four and five star reviews. Yet I couldn’t stomach a vampire book where they were health concious and environmentally aware. It just seriously took away from the dark aspect that should be in all vamp books.

  3. One question: what on earth could you possibly need a talking TP roller for? 😛

    I never thought of writing reviews as good practice for humor, but it sounds good. I remember that cat food review you sent me. Loved that one too!

    • Well, my review pretty much says why, lol. As you can see from the pics, it can be used as a regular roller and looks innocent enough. Lots of fun, trust me.

      About the cat review. That one is classic. There are tons of comments on it which the “cat” responded. and still does. I’ll post a link of it for now, but may ask NyiNya if she will let me post it on my blog. Most of her reviews have humor in them, but this one is by far one of her best.

      • Susan, I read your cat review – and it’s the funniest ever! Wonderful! Yes, you do know how to get into the psyche of a cat … I nearly split my sides laughing. It is … so … true!

        And I remembered the time when, rushed to get the animals fed – and me fed – so I could get off to a city council meeting (this was back when I was working 45-hour weeks for the newspaper), I grabbed a can of cat food from the shelf, opened it …

        And I remember thinking, Wow! This stuff smells just like regular canned tuna! And the cats loved it!

        It was only when I opened the can of tuna for myself that I realized … I had just given the cats MY dinner!

        That was when I stopped storing my food and their food in the same place.

        • I just received permission from the person who wrote the review to post it on my blog. It will be up momentarily for others who may enjoy reading it. “Beebo” may be watching to see what responses come out, just as a warning.

          As for the cans of tuna, I definitely keep them stored in a different place from the cat food. Of course, they come in handy if I ran out of the kitty food and don’t feel like running to the store right that minute. Certainly makes the cat happy, lol. I have a feeling, though, that you didn’t choose to eat your kitty’s food as a replacement. Not something I would have done either!

          • Some days, Susan, even with six or eight cups of coffee to fortify me, I’m just not in touch with the thinking side of my brain …
            I’m sure the cats would be thrilled if I would open a can of tuna for them every day …

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