Mistress’ Review of Water (the plain stuff from your tap)

I wrote this review back in the Spring as part of a challenge for a forum on Amazon.  We were trying to prove that no matter the product, or how boring it may be, no two reviews should ever be exactly the same.  Considering how very plain and tasteless most water is, it should technically have little to be said about it.  Yet the responses turned out to be rather diverse, proving that no matter how many people review something, each of them will always have something different to say.  This was my contribution.  It gave a few people laughs, so hopefully you all find it entertaining as well!


**Water is a necessary evil

I first started drinking water when I was very young. To be honest, it is difficult to say what my appreciation of it was then. My recollection of that time is not so good. Growing up, my parents insisted on me continuing to drink it. They swore I needed water to survive, but I didn’t buy into that theory. Soft drinks had a far better taste in my opinion. Even juice was preferable over plain old water. Not to mention that anyone who has ever drank water from wells can attest to a distinctly bad taste, particularly if there are sulfur deposits nearby. That was enough to make me gag.

Admittedly, it is useful for showers and cooking. You can’t go without it completely, but as for drinking the stuff, not my favorite. One time I tried to go without ingesting water while doing some vigorous exercise. Apparently my parents had been right. Water is necessary as I learned there is this medical condition called dehydration that can occur if you go without it for too long. Should this condition occur, they stick you with a needle and pump some water like solution called saline directly into your veins. This is on top of feeling sick and weak. It was not a pleasant experience. I learned that perhaps water is important, whether I like it or not.

I’m still not a big fan of water, but realize I must have it. For the purpose of this review, I give it two stars as I’m rather annoyed to be so dependent on the stuff.

(c) Mistress of the Dark Path


For other fun reviews, try the ones I wrote for oxygen and dirt.

~ by Suzie on October 18, 2011.

21 Responses to “Mistress’ Review of Water (the plain stuff from your tap)”

  1. Water is essential to life. Without water the whole planet would be Phoenix. I rest my case.

    • So are you saying your review of water would be full of how great and important it is? I expected more of you! I still say it is ridiculous how dependent we have to be on the stuff.

  2. Susan,

    I believe it was one of the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode that said “…Bags of mostly water…” referring to the humans inside the USS Enterprise. We are mainly made up of Carbons and 2 parts Hydrogen and 1 part Oxygen chemically written H2O so yes we indeed are dependent on the stuff.

    On the other hand, when filtered properly and chilled water need not be so awful going past your taste buds. There are also bottled waters that are flavored to help perk up your taste buds but I do not necessarily recommend those. They can fool you into thinking you are drinking healthy…but that is another review for another time.

    Have a great one and please for the sake of all of your many fans…please continue to drink water. We miss you when you are gone.

    • Not to worry Lynn, I do drink water (fitered that is). I think my current hatred has to do with my Army days when they did “forced hydration” where we all had to drink a quart of water within a few minutes so our stomachs could all slosh around, then they would make us run laps afterward where some people would end up regurgitating theirs. Not a pleasant experience!

  3. Lol. Nice one. I especially like the two stars because you’re annoyed to be dependent on it. 😉

  4. hahaha…brilliant idea…two stars…lol!

  5. Message back from Water: (this comment has not been verified by Amazon)

    Susan, Thank-you so much for your kind review. I am very pleased that, whilst not completely to your taste, my hard efforts have at least provided you with some sustenance. I am going to have to think hard about your observations and will see if I can integrate some of them into my new project (working title: Food) where, at the moment, cabbage and much other green stuff currently dominate the cast list… Am wondering now whether I might have got this wrong….???!

    p.s. nice to see you were writing ‘in the Spring’… 🙂

    • Ha ha, didn’t think about that when I was writing it! I’ll be interested in this project of yours and how it works out. Keep the food growing, though, some of it actually tastes good!

  6. I love your review, Susan!
    I have a love/hate relationship with water – love it up here in Sheridan, where it really is good … not so much down on the Texas Coast where, if you’re not connected to the right sources, it can taste really brackish and icky.
    I have to admit, though – water’s very useful for making coffee and tea …

  7. “I learned there is this medical condition called dehydration”–funny!

    I’ve never been particularly thrilled about having to depend on water either. I mean, how can you like something that tastes like…nothing? Then one day, after many unexplained aches and pains, a doctor told me I needed to start drinking H2O. I was like WHAT? But I took a chance and forced myself to drink it. What did I have to lose? Then I saw how my skin started clearing up. And how my weight started dropping. And how much lighter and energetic I felt. The pain started going away. And whatdoyouknow–voila! I became a fan. Now, I recommend water to everyone.


    • That’s true, Diceyblog … And I drink water for the same reason your doctor told you to – dehydration is no fun!
      Just … I prefer to have something thrown in with it … little flavor crystals, Kool-aid, some little boost to make nothing taste like … something!

    • Exactly my point, Dicey. That sneaky, underhanded thing called water is forcing us to use it! We have no choice because going without it effects our health, food, other drinks, everything! It is just wrong to be have such a dependency of the stuff forced on us. I’m moving on to oxygen next. More bones to pick there.

      • Yeah, Susan. What’s with that oxygen thing? And the stuff is TOXIC! Really! It rusts unprotected metals … it’s highly reactive with a lot of other elements …
        How did it manage to get us so dependent on … it? (And oxygen is a component of water after all … H2O???
        So is oxygen behind that get-us-hooked-on-water deal?
        Is this part of some grand conspiracy?????

  8. Personally, I prefer powdered water 🙂

  9. […] other fun reviews, try the ones I wrote for water and […]

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