November Writing Contest Winner!

J.E. Lowder- 1st Place Winner of Mistress' November Writing Contest!

We have a winner for the November Writing Contest!  Please congratulate J.E. Lowder on his excellent story, “Cranberry Coup”.  It won with almost eighty-seven percent of the vote.  For a little background on him, he is the author of Tears of Min Brock, which is a fantasy adventure story.  If you enjoyed his contest entry, you might check it out!

We also have a second place winner, Edwin Stark, who will be receiving a prize as well for his inventive story, “Strange White Meat”.  It had quite the surprise ending.  I do want to give an honorable mention to Kira Zidar for her entry.  She showed an impressive ability to write for being only ten years old.  I do hope she will keep working on her writing skills in the future as I’m sure she has the potential to become a published author some day! Thanks to all the contestants for participating.  We had some great entries this month.

Remember that all of you can continue to participate in future contests and any of you could become the next person to get first place!  Only the prize winners have a three-month period that they cannot qualify for the finalist round.  Despite this, many do come back and submit entries just for fun.

I have emailed the contest winners in regards to getting their Amazon gifts card to them.  J.E. Lowder is also welcome to print this trophy picture and hang it on his wall if he likes :)

For those of you who didn’t see his winning story, here it is:

Cranberry Coup

by J.E. Lowder

Revolution paves the road with blood.
Or in the case of my family’s Thanksgiving dinner, it was drizzled with cranberry juice.

I was home from college, and like most forward thinking young scholars, I had come to the following conclusions:
1) My family is phony.
2) I must have been adopted.

We celebrate Thanksgiving with much tradition, pomp, and flare. Lavishly prepared dishes are set upon a tablecloth of white, plastic smiles are extended to relatives one detests, and false promises to join the gym arise while devouring mountainous calories. Maybe it was my travels to impoverished regions, or maybe it was the fact that my family is pretentious, but whatever the reason, I vowed to instigate a Cranberry Coup for authenticity!

Now don’t panic, I wasn’t about to grab a turkey leg and clobber Uncle Stu, although he deserves it for teasing me about my earring and calling me gay, which I’m not. Nor will I shove mashed potatoes down my sister’s throat when she bemoans her country club lifestyle. And I most certainly won’t cram cranberries into Aunt Edna’s orifices when she unleashes her cackle, which is aroused by one-to-many glasses of chardonnay. What I needed was to create a moment that would draw them into a revolution of change.

Gathering at the long table, we went to our seats. Although not assigned, we each knew where to sit, and more importantly, where NOT to sit, for there was indeed a seating order that could never be breached. I considered sitting in another spot, using this to press out the cranberry juice of revolt, but I knew this would not bring about genuine uprising and could be squashed with a flippant wave of the hand. No, I needed to wait; I needed their full cooperation in my coup d’état.

Upon sitting, Mother brought in the turkey. Steam whisked off the golden bird and a collective “Ahhh!” rose from the group. Except for me. I was steadying my nerves, waiting for the perfect moment to launch my attack.

Dad tapped reverently upon his crystal wine goblet, the pings announcing his traditional Thanksgiving speech. And before the bell-like tings faded, I launched up from my seat.

“Posers!” I boldly declared. “Everyone is as phony as the cranberry sauce!”

Shocked by my outburst, all eyes stared at Aunt Edna’s wiggling concoction. Surrounded by the opulent display of silver, china and succulent dishes, the blob of red was truly out of its league, displaying its can lines like a trailer tramp would stretch marks.

Mother righted her shoulders in a genteel manner and was no doubt preparing a rebuttal. But before she could open her mouth, Uncle Stu muttered, “Little queer!”

Dad’s face turned cranberry red. His brow furrowed then relaxed; eyes sharpened then became placid. I feared my revolution would die beneath his resolve to maintain social etiquette.

And then victory! Years of suppressed emotions for Uncle Stu spewed out of my father. Vulgarities and gestures he hadn’t used since college were revived with gusto. Uncle Stu returned fire, spraying expletives like machine gun fire, declaring Dad was the reason America was in decline.

Mother tried comforting Aunt Edna, but my retort about her cranberry sauce had sobered her up. She began listing Mom’s failures over the years, equating these to my liberalism and obvious “gender confusion.” Mother’s smile faded and her head turned like the turret of a tank. Unleashing a volley of pure fury, she declared she too would be a drunk if married to a tyrant like Stu. My sister, who hated confrontation, donned her country club smile as her head nodded this way and that, following the war of accusations, curses, and threats.

Suddenly, Mom shouted above the din, “You call THIS cranberry sauce?” She held the plate up for all to behold and for a moment, there was a truce. And then, with eyes blazing mad, she declared, “This looks more like your cellulite!”

With that, she launched the shimmering gelatin at Auntie. But Mother was never one for athleticism, so I watched the crimson orb soar past my ear and splatter on our wallpaper. Juice dripped like blood upon the chair rail, christening it with my Cranberry Coup.

And as they continued to fight, I quietly sat and wiped some of the juice off with my finger. Cranberry sauce had never tasted so good!


All of the other contestant’s entries can be viewed here.  I am truly pleased to see so many people were inspired to contribute their stories.  The next contest will begin on the weekend of December 17th.  It will have a “gift-giving” theme (that is all I’m saying for now).  I will look forward to seeing what participants come up with next!




~ by Suzie on December 4, 2011.

7 Responses to “November Writing Contest Winner!”

  1. I missed the contest, but that is a superb story. Congrats, J.E.!

  2. Congratulations!!!

  3. Congrats, J.E.!

  4. I’m honored while at the same time humbled. Also, I’d like to thank all the voters as well as those posting kind comments.

  5. […] You can check out the blog (and winning story) at… November Writing Contest Winner […]

  6. Well done to everyone, I really enjoyed all of the stories (and I think we’d better keep an eye out for Kira’s writing from now on…)… 🙂

  7. Congrats to all the finalists. Every vote counts – J.E. loved the story. So creative!

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