Mistress’ Review of Fire (a parody of the element)

Fire dragonI had to give much thought about how I was going to review fire.  Much like air and water (see reviews for other elements here), it has some annoying qualities.  A few marks left on me from incidents in my life prove that much.

My brother loved to play with fire as a kid and once dropped a lit Zippo on my legs.  It was summer and I was wearing shorts.  It managed to burn both thighs before I knocked it off.  Oddly, those are the only burn scars that faded until you can’t really see them anymore.  He also burned his bedroom curtains down with matches when he was three years old, but thankfully that was contained. For those who are worried, he’s mostly grown out of this issue now that he’s in his thirties.

Which brings us to the issue of fire burning down forests and homes.  Seriously fire, must you go to these extremes?  Give it an inch and it will take a mile…or more.  It can spread to devastate the land and people living on it.  I have read that there are some benefits to this as it allows nature to reset itself and new plants to grow, but you’d think there’d be an easier way.  Shame on you fire!

Despite my bad incidents with the element, I can’t completely knock it.  I’m extremely cold natured.  It’s as if my body is incapable of holding heat on its own and my skin is almost always cool to the touch unless I’m in the sun for a while (and it’s warm outside).  You’d think I was a danged vampire since I also prefer to sleep during the day as well.  If not for fire and its ability to keep the home warm, I’d be in real trouble.  Not just that, but how would anyone have a decent barbecue?  It just isn’t the same with a stove or broiler.

Then there are S’mores.  Nothing is better than some marshmallows roasted over an open fire and spread between Hershey’s chocolate and graham crackers.  I can just taste it now.

So how does one rate fire based on all these observations?  We obviously can’t live without it, but there is room for improvement.  Until it can be made to not burn the things it’s not supposed to, it’s not going to be perfect.  There’s no getting around that.  Fire gets three whips from me!







How would you rate fire?

~ by Suzie on March 24, 2013.

6 Responses to “Mistress’ Review of Fire (a parody of the element)”

  1. Cool idea reviewing the elements. Yea, fire would so get a low rating from me. 🙂

  2. All elements in moderation! It’s about balancing them, not letting one have control.

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